Having an ex pay so much attention to your Facebook that they send you private messages telling you how offensive you've been to people they don't know. And then tell you what an awful person you are and how destructive you are.
And when you find it creepy and very uncomfortable, having them tell you how it's all in your best interests and that your behaviour to people is generally awful.
Right, so that's not stalky and I'm a bit of a bastard?
Who does that? Really?
Apparently Facebook has these absolute hard and fast rules that, if not played by, equal great offence. The offence is a hard and fast thing because we are all the same and all take things the same way.
The other terribly fun thing about this former relationship (and regular readers will know that these are matters that I rarely refer to directly because I can, on occasion, manage a modicum of discretion and would generally prefer people don't know how petty I am.) is that I am always the villain. I always was. And it's the same old thing. I am not nice enough. My head doesn't work the way it's supposed to. I interpret things differently. I fail to be what I am supposed to be.
I have reached the point where I am baffled by why men attempt to engage in romances with me. I am never who they think I should be and consistently fail to turn into that person. I have noticed that this failing is always my fault though. I'm such a bitch like that. Really.
Tuesday 22 January 2013
Thursday 25 October 2012
It's an idea.
A boring mouse of a girl, an overachiever with more dull brain than interesting person, finding a way to become interesting and creating an untreatable mythology about it. A licence to misbehave and be appalling whilst always, always expecting other people to crawl back.
An idea indeed.
An idea indeed.
Monday 15 October 2012
Perspective.
1.
The realisation, mid-conversation, that you have been thoroughly manipulated by a master. You are little more than a piece in the game, though you've made many moves you thought your own. The moment when you realise that your worse nature has been used to achieve someone else's objective.
They have realised your failings; the propensity to gossip and not to cope alone. These have been noted and considered and used. The fear is not that this one person has noted these things but that all people have noted these things.
2.
The moment, mid-conversation, where you find that your preferred outcome has been achieved and that you are pleased. This closely follows the realisation that the person you are speaking with thinks they have manipulated you. You have been so very subtle, just a comment here and there.
It is the moment you ponder the ruthlessness of your subconscious in attaining your desires. Just how you set people up and how often and the wily ways you get your way. This is when you do not fear exposure but yourself.
The realisation, mid-conversation, that you have been thoroughly manipulated by a master. You are little more than a piece in the game, though you've made many moves you thought your own. The moment when you realise that your worse nature has been used to achieve someone else's objective.
They have realised your failings; the propensity to gossip and not to cope alone. These have been noted and considered and used. The fear is not that this one person has noted these things but that all people have noted these things.
2.
The moment, mid-conversation, where you find that your preferred outcome has been achieved and that you are pleased. This closely follows the realisation that the person you are speaking with thinks they have manipulated you. You have been so very subtle, just a comment here and there.
It is the moment you ponder the ruthlessness of your subconscious in attaining your desires. Just how you set people up and how often and the wily ways you get your way. This is when you do not fear exposure but yourself.
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